I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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