yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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