No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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