I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
