so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
