Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My hand turned me down
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
