is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
