I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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