Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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