Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
