We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
