I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
