i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
