I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
