i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I didn't notice because vodka
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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