Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
false alarm, still single
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