We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Small penises have feelings too.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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