Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
