dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize