I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize