i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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