with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
