i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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