she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
