she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The ass gains better be worth it
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