How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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