I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
