In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
