I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
