He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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