I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
