just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
