why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
