Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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