Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
