can u get pink eye on your cock?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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