Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
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My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
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What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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