I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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