Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
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My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
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I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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