I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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