So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
