road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
