I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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