This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
handjob tips. give me some.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize