she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
