Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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