He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
