i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
