I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
