its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
