Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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