Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
