Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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