let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
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