Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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