That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
