Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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