Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
