I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
