I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize