Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
