there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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