i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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