So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
