a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize