Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize