While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
