I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
